CONTINUING METAL GEAR SOLID 2 SURVIVOR! (Yes! ^^)
by Chibichan5
Summary: Chap 9 up! And now, for something different! Lots of traps and insanity! Snake in his drunken haze, Rose is her insane, love struck self! Solidus, Mei Ling, and all the rest are participating in Survivor! The game's rigged! Chap 9 up!
1. Welcome to Danger Island!

1 Yes, the Metal Gear cast is not mine, but this fanfic is! I hope you enjoy it. And yes, do itashimashite!  
  
2  
  
3 Day 1-Monday  
  
Camera man: 3....2....1...And, we're rolling! (gives thumbs up)  
  
Host: (is wearing a Western-esque hat, and a Hawaiian T-shirt) I'm your host, Jeff Probst, for yet another edition of Survivor! This time, it takes place on the vast, varied landscape of Danger Island! (OOC: This is a real Island, mind you!)  
  
(Camera zooms into the landscape—some areas barren, others heavily forested, with no inhabitants in sight. The searing sun beats down without mercy against the dry land. More to the opposite end of the island, there is a waterfall, and a small stream on the island.)  
  
Jeff: It's is survival of the fittest. Together and individually, our special band of genetically-engineered and/or extra ordinary soldiers of varied ages, and women, must endure the tests of physical and mental strength which this Island has to offer.  
  
(A Kasatka lowers on to the plains nearby, the chopper's blades causing Jeff's hat to blow away. Even through the tinted glass, you can hear bickering and argument among the obscured passengers. Finally, the canopy opens, and 10 people step foreword)  
  
  
  
Jeff: Now---the competitors. A very...um, interesting group, indeed.  
  
(Camera faces a young Chinese woman. Her straight black hair is neatly tied into a ponytail, and she has an earpiece with her)  
  
Girl: Hello everyone, my name is Mei Ling. I won't tell you my age...(laughs) that's for YOU to find out.  
  
Jeff: Um, alright. Carrying on then...  
  
(the camera man focuses on an elderly man with hair in a braid, and in a tan-coloured trench coat)  
  
Old man: (his voice is cold and very coarse) If you don't know me already, I'm Revolver Ocelot---better known as Shalashaska to my comrades. (grins) I'm going to enjoy torturing all of you, hehehe.  
  
Jeff: (tries to smile, although he is clearly stunned from the comment) He's just kidding folks! Nothing to worry about.  
  
Ocelot: No I'm not. -.-  
  
Jeff: Now here's a pretty little girl! What's your name?  
  
Girl: (pushes up her glasses blushing slightly, for she is very shy)  
  
I'm Emma. I thank you for the compliment, although I don't wish to be seen as a girl, rather the whole reason I participated in this Survival competitions is because I wanted to show my brother Hal that I'm a woman.  
  
Otacon: You're only 16, E.E., I don't want you to get hurt...  
  
Emma: You care about me? Oh Hal...(breaks into tears, hugging a man with baggy shorts up to his knees and a Gundam Wing T-shirt, who is obviously her brother she had mentioned)  
  
Snake: Ugh. I can't stand mushy scenes...(lights a cigarette)  
  
Jeff: And here we have, um....we have, uh...  
  
Snake: (his voice is gruff, and clearly irritable) IT'S THE LEGENDARY SOLID SNAKE, DUMB ARSE!  
  
(The 43 year old Snake is clad in only the pants of his Sneaking suit, his limbs, face and chest extremely hairy.)  
  
Jeff: Ooooooookay, then. (forces a cheesy smile for the viewers)  
  
(The camera guy follows to another girl, who is clinging onto a young man's arm. The half Japanese, half American man is sporting his typical black Skull suit with light blue armour on his shoulders, knees and elbows. Obviously, the weapons have been taken from him...Jeff can't help but notice that the suit's well—sort of revealing.)  
  
Jeff: What's your name?  
  
Man: Me or Rose? (points to the girl who's holding onto him)  
  
Jeff: That girl's name is Rose?  
  
Man: (sighs) The one and only.  
  
Jeff: (whispers) She must be damn annoying, neh?  
  
Man: Better believe it.  
  
Jeff: So Rose, tell us a bit about yourself.  
  
Rose: (ignores Jeff, and rubs her head against the young man's shoulder) Oooooooh Jackie, this is going to be so romantic....  
  
Jeff: Jack and Rose? (chuckles lightly) Are you two like the couple from Titanic?  
  
Jack: Actually no. She doesn't seem to understand that I don't like her. Anyway...(pulls his arm away) Just call me by my designated code name, Raiden, alright?  
  
Jeff: Okay, Raiden. No offence meant, but may I do something to you?  
  
Raiden: What exactly do you mean, "something"?  
  
Jeff: (stares long into Jack's pale face, and then pokes his chest)  
  
Raiden: ACK! What the hell are you doing?!  
  
Jeff: I was right, you ARE a man...(rubs his chin) Just checking. Sorry about that, don't tell anyone about my fidgety hands.  
  
Camera man: That was caught on tape, and is airing live on televisions across America, you know...  
  
Jeff: O.O Damn. Well, how about you give us some details, Raiden.  
  
Raiden: I'm 19 years old, was a child soldier in the past, um...I'm a mercenary, employed for missions and...  
  
Snake: I told you to FORGET THE DAMN PAST AND START A NEW LIFE!!  
  
Raiden: Shutup, I'm trying to speak! (Scratches his head of straight and long, pale blond hair) Yes, that's about it.  
  
Jeff: Thank you. Moving on, here we have two contestants that are extremely odd. Nonetheless, here's Vamp, and Fatman.  
  
Fatman: (is wearing an enormous white T-shirt, a cap over his hairless head, and tremendous shorts) Laugh and grow fat. (pulls a glass of wine from nowhere and lifts it to his lips)  
  
Jeff: HEY! No outside food or drinks allowed on the set! Erg, I mean, on the island!  
  
Fatman: Don't push it, or I'll bomb you to hell. (tosses the goblet into the sea)  
  
Vamp: I don't worry, I can live without food...(His purple tongue runs across his thin lips) I enjoy the taste of warm blood flowing in my mouth. In fact, that's all I feed on. (hisses)  
  
Jeff: Ugh, disgusting. (shudders, walking over to a man in black armour, who is flexing his tentacle arms) God, what are those?!  
  
Solidus: It's my suit, my arms! Well, no, I have 4 arms in total. Observe. (he flings his tentacles at Raiden, wraps them around his throat and hoists his victim up) So simple.  
  
Raiden: Aaaaaaarghaaah!!! (his hands try to pry the tentacles loose, struggling to breathe)  
  
Jeff: Mr. Sir? (taps Solidus' shoulder)  
  
Solidus: The name's Solidus Snake, perfect clone of Big Boss! (laughs sadistically, continuing to throttle Raiden)  
  
Jeff: (runs a hand through his hair, stressed out) Um, commercial break! 


	2. Who's gonna be with who? ^^

Jeff: Welcome back to Survivor: Life on Danger Island. Now, it comes the time for our contestants to organize themselves in teams...but since that would be pure hell with all of these wackos, our friendly staff have already arranged them in two separate groups.  
  
Snake: (horks, and spits onto the ground) Damn you!  
  
Rose: How wonderful, I hope I'm with Jackie boy!  
  
Raiden: (rolls his eyes) ...  
  
Jeff: Everyone line up! The squads are as follows.  
  
The first group! (shouts out loud)  
  
Rose...  
  
Solidus...  
  
Emma...  
  
Snake...  
  
.........?  
  
Hmm, the last name here seems a little messy. (Jeff strains his eyes) Hey, could one of you help me read it?  
  
Raiden: Sure, why not? (reads it, his eyes widening as he rubs his sore throat ruefully)  
  
Oh god no. It can't be...  
  
Snake: O.o (is startled, his cigarette dropping from his open mouth) It's not who I think it is...is it? (growls) Noooooooo! I'm with the DAMN KID!!  
  
Raiden: (He shakes his head in disbelief, and steps into Snake's group)  
  
Rose: Yay, you're with me! (hugs Jack tightly) It can't be bad!  
  
Raiden: Actually, you're the worst thing that could have come along. (sighs heavily)  
  
Jeff: That means the rest of you...Fatman, Mei Ling, Ocelot, Vamp and Otacon are in the other group.  
  
Ocelot: Darn, I have no one worthy of torturing in my group. (mutters) That doesn't mean ol' Snake and the other boy are off the hook...  
  
2 hours later...  
  
Jeff: Okay, the two groups, you're on your own for this Scavenger Hunt I've prepared for you. Both groups have different items they're searching for. Complete or not, we will meet at the fire pit at 7:00 PM, and will determine the winning group before the voting. You have three hours. (Leaves)  
  
Snake: (scratches at a stubble on his bristly face) Before anything, I say we settle here. (Inhales deeply, a sense of self-satisfaction flowing in him)  
  
Raiden: Eh...? (Touches the ground, and shouts, pulling his hand away) The ground's steaming here! If we were to build our shelter here, we'd burn up in the sun. (Looks around) How about we camp where the trees are?  
  
Snake: Mr. Motor Mouth, I think I know what to DO!! (Slaps Raiden rather rudely across the face) I think we should go to the trees and camp there.  
  
Solidus: I'll have to agree with Snake.  
  
Raiden: (painfully staggers to his feet) But that is exactly what I said...!  
  
Snake: Will you stop interrupting me? SHUT UP ALREADY! Gawd, I had enough of the whining! (Finds a suitable place in between few trees, pulls out 6 blanket-like plastic sheets from his pants pocket, and blows in them. They suddenly form into 6 inflatable tents—Hey it's TV! Don't believe everything that you see!)  
  
Emma: Wow, now there's enough for the other group as well! I can't wait to chat with Hal...  
  
Rose: You brought a laptop?! I wish I had one—I'd send Jack so many e- mails...  
  
Raiden: ...And probably bog my account down with so much junk, so that it freezes, right?  
  
Rose: Did you say something, honey?  
  
Raiden: Nothing, Rose. (his expression is of innocence) You just continue talking there.  
  
Snake: Let's make this straight. There are 2 people to a tent, except for Vamp and Fatman who have their own tents for obvious reason.  
  
Rose: Oooh, I call a tent with Jack!  
  
Snake: (smiles) Fine.  
  
Raiden: no...No...NOOOOOOO! You can't do this to me!!  
  
Snake: Oh behave. (stabs him with a pointed stick) I'm going with Mei Ling, then. (rests a hairy arm around her shoulders) We're gonna have some FUN TONIGHT, GIRL!  
  
Mei Ling: Shhhhhhhh...(slaps Snake playfully) That's private talk!!  
  
Snake: Damn, I said the quiet part loud, and the loud part quiet. (stares at the others) YOU DIDN'T HEAR NOTHING!!!  
  
Yes, more will come, if you like it. ^^ And to answer some questions, yes, I'm a girl. ^^ 


	3. The HUNTING begins...

(Time passes, and the final arrangements are made.)  
  
Fatman  
  
Raiden, Rose  
  
Snake, Mei Ling  
  
Otacon, Emma  
  
Solidus, Ocelot  
  
Vamp (All alone ^^)  
  
(All the people dumb their luggage into their designated tents, and meet up in their groups. Snake's gang begins their trek, first heading to the left.)  
  
Solidus: Hmmmm...(studies the paper) The first object is...a pinecone. Arg, this reminds me of Grade school.  
  
Snake: There's gotta be cones in that damn forest area over there. Hurry up people! I don't want to be voted out! C'mon, let's win win win!  
  
(The quintet trample carefully into the thick, green foliage)  
  
Raiden: So many trees, I can hardly see in the distance...  
  
Emma: (her eyes are glued to the ground) Oooh, found one! (lifts up a massive cone with the help of Solidus)  
  
Solidus: (mutters angrily) If we weren't a team in this game, I'd eliminate all of you.  
  
Rose: Where do we put all our discoveries?  
  
Raiden: Don't you mean items? I would consider a discovery more like something absolutely astounding and essential—something that has helped the world with its existence...  
  
Snake: Stop acting all smart, kid. (whaps him)  
  
Raiden: Hey, watch it!  
  
Snake: Shaddap. (shoves the cone in his pocket) What's next on the list?  
  
Solidus: A feather of a bird. This list is so retarded. I mean, honestly, who do they take us for?! Why, I could crush this island to pieces!!  
  
Emma: You're ruining the fun for the rest of us!  
  
Snake: Fun? (laughs hysterically) The only way this could possibly have the slight bit of "fun", is if the damn kid were to haul his albino ass elsewhere!  
  
Raiden: I've had it up to here with you!! (His eyebrows narrow angrily) Why don't you take this list, and SHOVE it!  
  
Snake: Okay I will. (realizes what was said moments later) HEY! THAT'S IT! GET OUT!  
  
Raiden: (he sighs, one of his "Why-didn't-you-ever-tell-me" kind of sighs) I'm going!! (he walks off, deeper in the forest)  
  
Rose: I'm coming with yooooou! (runs after Jack)  
  
Snake: Good, that gets rid of both of them. (cracks his knuckles) Let's continue.  
  
Emma: Erm.......Okay.  
  
(In The forest)  
  
Rose: Jaaaaaaaaack!  
  
Raiden: (looks in the distance, seeing an indistinguishable figure chase him) (he breaks into a sprint)  
  
Rose: (screams) JAAAAAAAAAAACK!  
  
Raiden: Huh? Who are you?  
  
Rose: (her form emerges from behind a tree) Me!  
  
Raiden: I didn't recognize you. (stops running with a sigh) Why did you leave the group?  
  
Rose: I wanted to be with you...(pushes a strand of brown hair from her eyes)  
  
Raiden: (Thinks: I don't like where this is going...can't she leave me alone?) Hmmmmph. (It wasn't much of a response, but it was sufficient.)  
  
Rose: Look at the sky...it's beautiful...  
  
Raiden: (lifts his head) It is...  
  
(We leave the duo, to check how Ocelot's team is doing)  
  
Ocelot: Three items already. Gooooood. Many of the objects are in this forest. How simple.  
  
Vamp: Since we have a good start...how about we hunt a bit? (licks his lips again) I am becoming a bit...how should I put it...ravenous.  
  
Fatman: (Having hardly walked a few metres, he is gasping heavily) Where's the food? (drool runs down his greedy mouth)  
  
Otacon: You guys do whatever. (pushes up his glasses)  
  
Mei Ling: (puts a finger to her lips) Did you see that?  
  
All: What?  
  
Mei Ling: Shhhhhhhhhh...I saw an animal running...Otacon, quick, get that bow and arrow we found!  
  
Otacon: I never knew you ate meat..!  
  
Mei Ling: Can you see it? It's just standing there!  
  
Ocelot: I'll have to trust you, I can't see to well far away...  
  
Vamp: Are you talking about that dot in the distance? (his "slits-for-eyes" scan the landscape)  
  
Fatman: Kill it, kill it! (sits down) I'm starving!  
  
Mei Ling: (nods to Vamp) Try not to waste the arrows. As Confucius said "Caution is the seldom err."  
  
Vamp: (slips the shaft into the bow) Eh?  
  
Mei Ling: Never mind. (smiles)  
  
Vamp: (his aim is perfectly steady on the dot) One...two...  
  
(Hmmm, we have neglected Rose and Raiden for a while...let's return to the serene surrounding.)  
  
Raiden: This island is wonderful. (he inhales deeply) But somehow, this place is a bit...too quiet.  
  
Something's going to happen---I can feel it.  
  
Rose: (listens) ? What was that whistling noise?  
  
Raiden: O.O" (An arrow is protruding from the centre of his chest)  
  
Rose: Hmmm, I'm sure it was nothing. (gasps) Oh Jack, look at that pretty little bird over there!  
  
Raiden: !...(looks at the arrow, and yet another sinks into him again, right beside the other) What the hell?  
  
(He sways on his feet, his senses becoming sluggish) Two arrows are...too much! (The surroundings swirl around him) Okay, I think...I'll...I should be okay....as long as----(A third arrow pierces into him, joining the other 2) God, I'm bad at this... O.O (falls like a log, as if someone had tipped him over)  
  
Rose: Jack, are you listening? Aw, you missed it! Jack.....Jack?  
  
(Our view shifts to Snake's team, which is reduced to only 3 people)  
  
Emma: How many items do we have now?  
  
Snake: Only 3, but.....WHOA! Check it out, the other group's runnin' towards something. Shoot!  
  
Solidus: It's not over yet...we will beat them there! (smiles)  
  
Emma: Huh, what are we doing?  
  
Snake: Running! Now hurry up, girl!  
  
Emma: My legs! They're flimsy! HELP!  
  
Snake: For the love of...(picks Emma up in his arms and holds on to Solidus' tentacles, for he is moving at a tremendous pace) Hey old man! They're almost there, so move it!  
  
Solidus: Grrrrrrrrrr, I'll have your head when this is finished, and hang it up in my living room...  
  
(When both groups meet up at the same time, they are both in for a surprise. They find Rose panicking like a maniac, and Raiden's recumbent form on the ground)  
  
All: !!!!  
  
Rose: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...(shakes her hands, raving and ranting)  
  
Otacon: Oh my god, someone will have to tell Jeff about this...  
  
Fatman: No food? (tears form in his sunken eyes)  
  
Solidus: Y ou mean about how insane Rose is, or what happened to Jackie boy?  
  
Snake: (looks around) What the hell happened to the kid?  
  
Otacon: Appears he was shot down with arrows...  
  
Snake: Well, tell me something I don't know, Point Dexter!  
  
Otacon: Oh, sorry. (mutters meekly)  
  
Emma: Let me see...(kneels down, examining the shaft ends that are extruding) I'd guess that this is a special type of point that's been dipped with poison, or something. Can you see the red stripes along it?  
  
Otacon: POISON?! (stares at his team in dismay) Didn't you read the sheets of information that came along with the bow when we found it?  
  
Vamp: (ignores Rose) Um, no. (suppresses a laugh) Eh...Fatman made good use of that when he had to "do his business" outside.  
  
Fatman: I couldn't find toilet paper!  
  
Snake: Ugh! (sticks his tongue out in disgust, swearing) Of all things, don't make me picture your fat a-----  
  
Mei Ling: Snake! (glares at him)  
  
Snake: You're no fun. If you weren't here, I'd be cussing my lungs out. (lights another cigarette)  
  
Mei Ling: Hmmmm...Well, we can't just leave Raiden here.  
  
Rose: My poor Jackie! What are we going to do?  
  
Ocelot: We're running out of time, it's 6:00 PM already...(mutters) I need my time to torture people...  
  
Solidus: (is overwhelmed with everyone's quarreling and slaps them all with his tentacles) Just SHUT UP ALREADY!! I have an idea. Jack's not hard to lift...(grabs him by the throat with a long, coiling arm)  
  
Snake: (raises an eyebrow) That looks more like torture to me...Jeff's ain't gonna like hearing about this... 


	4. Houstin, we've got a problem...

(7:00, At the Fire pit)  
  
Jeff: What?!  
  
Otacon: I'll tell you again...(clears his throat shakily) My team members mistook Raiden for an animal, and we, um, kind of, um, yeah.  
  
Snake: (waves his hand as if to say "Who cares?") It's self-explanatory.  
  
Jeff: I can't believe you! (He rubs his forehead) I trusted you guys when I left you alone---I took you as a decent, civilized gang, but instead, you go out there and shoot down one of your fellow mates. I mean, no one is supposed to get hurt in Survivor, unless it's rehearsed!!! What DON'T you understand from that?! And each person was supposed to stay together in their assigned groups!!  
  
Snake: (crosses his arms) I didn't like mine, so shove it. And besides, the kid's fine...(turns his head towards Raiden, who is still lying there) Um, he just, uh sleeping.  
  
Emma: What kind of arrow was it?  
  
Jeff: (sighs) It was much like a tranquilizer dart, but since he took three, we can't tell if he's sleeping, in a coma of some sort, or dead.  
  
Rose: I suggest we stick around until Jackie wakes up, and then find out the results of the game!  
  
Mei Ling: And the results of his status...  
  
Jeff: Alright, I guess. God, nothing's going right...  
  
Snake: Oi, this could take months...  
  
(Many hours drift, and finally, Raiden's eyelids flicker)  
  
Raiden: .... (no one notices he's awake—he's just listening to the conversation around him)  
  
Solidus: Is he alive?  
  
Ocelot: He was when you brought him in.  
  
Solidus: Didn't check anything this time, friend? (chortles in amusement)  
  
Ocelot: No, I kept my eyes to myself. (mumbles) Damn, you know too much.  
  
Raiden: ....(takes in a deep breath) W-where am..I?  
  
(Everyone including Jeff glance at him)  
  
Jeff: Oh thank god! I could have lost my job if you died! Oh thank you! (breaks into tears of sheer joy)  
  
Rose: Jack, are you OK?  
  
Raiden: (states irritably) Three arrows right through me—does it look like I'm okay?!  
  
Rose: (smiles, obviously having not heard what he said) Glad you're okay. (hugs him)  
  
Raiden: (pushes her head away from him) Please don't get too close to me, you've had garlic...and you're pushing the arrows deeper.  
  
Snake: See, I told ya he's okay...  
  
Jeff: That was a day ago. -.-  
  
Solidus: (pokes Raiden with a stick) It's been a while, hasn't it---Jack the Ripper!  
  
Mei Ling: Don't threaten him...(puts a cold hand to Raiden's forehead) Take it easy Jack, you've been through a lot now...  
  
Raiden: Thanks, but I don't need anyone to pity me...(tries to get up, a wave of pain ripping through him) Never mind.  
  
Snake: (His eyes light up, steam shooting from his nose like a bull, grinding his teeth)  
  
MEI LING, what the hell's up in your screwed head?!  
  
Mei Ling: Be nice for once...  
  
Rose: Don't touch Jack, he's MINE!!! (shoves Mei Ling away)  
  
Mei Ling: That was rude! Besides..(smiles a bit) I kind of...like Jack. He's sweet!  
  
Snake: (his jaw drops) THE HELL??  
  
Rose: *%&^@! you!  
  
Snake: (explodes) NO ONE CURSES TO MY GIRL, UNLESS IT'S ME!!  
  
Raiden: (yells, drowning out everyone else) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAN'T YOU PLEASE BE QUIET?! (sighs, trying to deal with the current situation) I find this very.... nostalgic. Hey, what the?? (Solidus' arm is at his throat again)  
  
Solidus: Oops, my arm slipped. Hehehehehe...  
  
Raiden: (coughs) I'm sure it did. (blinks, trying to adjust his eyes to light) Where are we?  
  
Ocelot: Why, in Arsenal Gear...er, I mean inside the tent, of course.  
  
Otacon: (nudges Snake, whispering harshly) I told you to pull out the shaft BEFORE he woke up! Now it's going to be much harder!  
  
Snake: HEY! No one tells me what to do. You're always blaming me! (points to all of them, still pissed) ALL OF YOU BLAME ME! (uses his teasing girly tone, flapping his arms) Who shot the TV out? Who stole my Skull Suit? Who tampered with the breaks in my car? (scratches his butt, and burps) Sissies, all of you.  
  
Raiden and Otacon: (both thinking) I don't know what women see in Snake...  
  
Vamp: I need my blood now. (is getting impatient)  
  
Fatman: Yeah, where's the food?  
  
Snake: (kicks the overgrown, obese man, the fat jiggling uncontrollably) Hey blubber butt, you do nothing but sit on your a$$ and expect people to do things for you! Who am I, your mother?!  
  
Emma: (whispers to Hal) Sounds like SOMEONE I know...  
  
Otacon: (chuckles lightly) Snake gave a perfect description of himself...  
  
Snake: You people make me sick! (spits on the floor) Well, I'm out for a Jack Daniel's.  
  
Jeff: But...we have to finish the Scavenger Hunt!  
  
Snake: (does not wish to react peacefully to what Jeff said, but is too tired to give another lecture)  
  
Neh.  
  
Jeff: Is that a yes?  
  
Snake: (shrugs) Neh.  
  
Jeff: Okay. (looks at Otacon's team) What did you get?  
  
Ocelot: The bow, the swallow's egg, and the biggest leaf of a palm tree. Nothing intriguing, though. (retrieves them from his trench coat, grumbling) No torture machine in sight. This island isn't of any use.  
  
Jeff: Snake, what did your team find?  
  
Emma: (takes the items from Snake's pockets) Here.  
  
Snake: (snaps) Don't touch me, you little runt!  
  
Emma: Eeek! (cringes in fear)  
  
Otacon: Snake? Control our temper...  
  
Snake: Yeah, sure. (scoffs) That weakling's only slowing us down.  
  
Jeff: (looks at the items Emma left on the tent floor) Pine cone, feather and bone...That's 3.  
  
Snake: No, duh.  
  
Jeff: Meaning...(continues on) ..That both teams are tied!  
  
Snake: What?!  
  
Solidus: (crosses his arms) That was a waste of time...  
  
Snake: (grabs his team's list, reading it all over again) It took my team all of 3 HOURS to find only 3 things of the list?! Look at all these things we left out! (he runs a hand through his hair in anxiety) LOOK AT IT!!  
  
Mei Ling: You should be happy, as Shakespeare said...  
  
Snake: I don't give a rat's A$$ about what some senile old man said, that anyone could have figured on their own, so CRAM IT, PREACHER!!!  
  
Mei Ling: ........  
  
Snake: God...  
  
Jeff: So it's a tie then. Off to the---  
  
Snake: WAIT!  
  
(All of them look at him)  
  
Snake: I found another one!  
  
Jeff: Where?  
  
Snake: It says arrows on the list, right? Gimme a sec! (goes over to Raiden) Don't get all wimpy and snivel on me, okay? (grabs the shafts in Jack's chest with both hands, and tries to pull it out)  
  
Emma: !!!  
  
Rose: !!!  
  
Mei Ling: !!!  
  
Otacon: (calls out) I meant gently pull it out in a more civilized, sensible manner!  
  
Snake: (is sweating like a pig) I need help here! It's practically glued in!  
  
Solidus: (fastens his arms firmly around the arrows with his many limbs, and finally manages to wrench them out)  
  
Raiden: Hmmmmmmmm...  
  
Solidus: You're strangely quiet...(pokes Jack)  
  
Raiden: (lifts a finger) There's no appropriate word to describe what the terrible, terrible pain I'm feeling right now.  
  
Solidus: I've saved Olga's mask, if you need it. (hands it to him)  
  
Raiden: Thanks. I'll be back. (steps out the tent, pulls on the mask, and swears his head off, with no sound escaping) (walks inside again, and suddenly his legs buckle from under him)  
  
Rose: ?  
  
Raiden: (is faint again, drooling)  
  
Otacon: He's sleeping like a dead man...  
  
Jeff: How about...we just vote off a member now? (nudges Raiden's limp head away from the camera's sight) 


	5. What goes bump in the night..

(At the firepit) 7: 45  
  
(The camera focuses on a set of wooden benches surrounding a glowing fire. The crickets are chirping, the white moon is up in the sky)  
  
Rose: (joins the others after staying in Jack's tent) Jackie is unable to attend. (is breathing hard)  
  
Snake: (scoffs again) Psssssssssh, kid's a show off. I can be the centre of attention too! I just don't whine when someone shoves something up my a$$...  
  
Mei Ling: SNAKE!  
  
Snake: I'll prove it!  
  
Mei Ling: (wrinkles her nose in disgust at the idea) ...You win, Snake.  
  
Snake: Ha!  
  
Jeff: (Stares at the entire cast intently, only 9 of them since Raiden isn't there) We gather here today to celebrate a release of one competitor...  
  
Solidus: You mean "release" as the loser is forced to commit suicide? {puts down his book entitled "The Giver."]  
  
Jeff: Um, no. (leans forward) This is the hardest part of the game...betraying another and voting them out.  
  
Ocelot: That's pretty simple. (chuckles) I'm good at that.  
  
Jeff: Who will be voted off the island?  
  
Snake: (clears his throat, standing up) I believe I speak for all of us when we say...ROSE!  
  
Jeff: What? (is startled with the quickness of the decision) You can't eliminate Rose, she was part of the winning team!  
  
Everyone but Jeff and Rose: ROSE!  
  
Snake: Crap on the rules! We want her out! (thrusts his thumb behind him)  
  
Rose: But...(whimpers) Jack....I love...(stutters)  
  
Snake: Just get the hell out.  
  
Jeff: With the most votes, you, Rose, are the weakest link, er... you have to leave the island. The Kasatka is waiting behind you to escort you back to Manhattan.  
  
Rose: (gets up, and outstretches her arms in a posture of protection) I'm NOT leaving this island! Just because I was voted out of the game, doesn't mean I have to leave...(clasps her hands) Please?  
  
Otacon: (pushes up his glasses) I don't see what's wrong...the more the merrier, right?  
  
Vamp: (rubs his chin) Well, she might satisfy my cravings...Young blood has a very sweet taste...I consider it a delicacy. Old blood is bitter.  
  
Jeff: (sighs, defeated) I guess...you're right. (has his head in his hands) She can stay.  
  
Snake: Yep, that's all I have to hear. (stretches, then scratches at a stubble on his chin) (grabs Mei Ling) I'm off to explore new frontiers.  
  
Mei Ling: (blushes) Oh Snake...  
  
Snake:...We're gonna party! (holds up a bottle of brandy he snuck in his butt pocket)  
  
Mei Ling: (realizes Snake's idea of "party") Oh...okay. (her excitement fades, but she tries not to show it) Snake, you're hurting my arm!  
  
Snake: (is tugging her away, musing) No I'm not...  
  
9:00 PM  
  
(Everyone now is in their "dwellings", preparing themselves for their first night out. Fatman is reading a cookbook, Vamp is licking the blood off the shafts that had been extracted from Raiden's flesh, Emma and Otacon are on their laptops, Solidus and Ocelot are discussing important matters, and Rose is trying to awaken Raiden from his inert stupor. Let's see what's going on with Snake first...)  
  
Snake: (is getting high off Pentazamin, and brandy) Oh yeah! This is the life...  
  
Mei Ling: Oh, uh, yes. (smiles)  
  
Snake: ...Those nicotine patches don't work! (has about 60 on his body)  
  
Mei Ling: (is afraid of the possible outcomes of Snake's drunken haze)...I'm tired, good night Snake. (blows out the candle, and snuggles into her sleeping bag)  
  
Snake: You're not going anywhere, kid... (hiccups)...now how did a girl like me get together with a guy like you...(he suddenly collapses onto his sleeping bag)  
  
Mei Ling: (tries to go to sleep, Snake's incoherent ramblings preventing her from doing so) Snake, it's late---couldn't you mumble tomorrow?  
  
Snake: (mutters) StupidMeiLingcomplainingaboutmemumblingwellshe'stheonewhohasaproblembecauses hecomplainstomuch...  
  
(Over at Emma's tent...)  
  
Otacon: (his fingers are typing away) Only a Super Saiyan Level 2 and above can defeat Cell...  
  
Emma: (downloads a pic) Goku is so CUTE! Look at his little tail!  
  
Otacon: That was from the Dragonball series, when Bulma was in love with Yamcha. Wait, I'm sending a Chibi Goku your way!  
  
Emma: Thanks Hal! (hugs him)  
  
Otacon: (reddens considerably) Nothing at all, E.E...  
  
Here..(reaches in his backpack) I've brought a Gundam model to build in case we get bored...and some manga!  
  
(Anime otakus at work! Now let's check out Solidus...)  
  
Solidus: We'll deal with him...as you suggested.  
  
Ocelot: This is going to be fun...(rubs his hands) He doesn't suspect a thing.  
  
Solidus: Yes...Now don't become all sick on the job like you once have...  
  
Ocelot: Leave it to me...I'm skilled. (smiles)  
  
Solidus: This game's so rigged...not ever Jeff knows what's happening...(leans back) Hehehehehe...  
  
(What's going on there? I can't tell you yet, so we will visit Raiden's tent.  
  
Finally he's awake.)  
  
Rose: (is sitting beside Raiden's prostrate form, holding a cup) Want water??  
  
Raiden: (blinks, able to feel his limbs again) Huh?  
  
Rose: You want water?  
  
Raiden: Water?  
  
Rose: Yes...  
  
Raiden:....  
  
Rose: Are you...alright?  
  
Raiden: .....  
  
Rose: You're not in pain...are you?  
  
Raiden: ...(Thinks: Okay, I'll just lie. No way I'm letting her treat me...) Oh, um, no, not at all.  
  
Rose: Are you sure? How about if I see--- (reaches out to probe his injuries)  
  
Raiden: (jumps back) No you can't! You're not seeing nothing!  
  
Rose: Jack...  
  
Raiden: I'm perfectly fine! (points at where the arrow had punctured him) See, this blood isn't blood at all, in fact it's.... It's this ketchup stain I got on my Skull suit, and the surface of my flesh a few days ago before the Kasatka took us to the island.  
  
Rose: You told me then you were going to the bathroom before the Kasatka came!  
  
Raiden: (continues with his lie) I said that, but a hot dog stand caught my eye on the way, and I ended up buying one instead.  
  
Rose: (persists) But you weren't eating anything when you came back! And you told me you hate ketchup!  
  
Raiden: Well...I secretly acquired a taste for ketchup, and I had swallowed the hot dog before I caught up with you.  
  
Rose: There was no blood on your upper body before!  
  
Raiden: (turns to the side) You just weren't looking...  
  
Rose: And you said you never liked hotdogs!  
  
Raiden: (pauses) I...um....um....  
  
Rose: You lied? (starts to cry)...I trusted you...  
  
Raiden: (gets up suddenly, finding the wrong time to request what's on his mind) May you excuse me?  
  
Rose: Why? (shouts angrily)  
  
Raiden: (closes his eyes briefly, murmuring) I need to...you...know...  
  
Rose: What?  
  
(Snake's head unexpectedly pokes through the tent covers)  
  
Snake: The kid's bladder's full...full of urine...  
  
Raiden: Get out! (closes the tent flaps, and then gets on his knees) Gaahhhhhhh! Rose, you have to let me go!  
  
Rose: You're not going anywhere until you explain everything!  
  
Raiden: (pleads) PLEASE! STOP BEING SO CRUEL!  
  
Rose: (crosses her arms) I'm not speaking with you.  
  
Raiden: About some silly hot dog?! But you said you were going to...Aw, forget that! (Dashes out the tent)  
  
Rose: COME BACK! (stands up) Jack!!  
  
(It looks like Raiden has got his wish...but with everything, there are consequences not always for the better...)  
  
Raiden: (is concealed from view) Oh god, I've been holding it all day...(sighs lightly)  
  
Rose: (steps outside the tent, bumping into Snake) Where's that---Oh Snake, shouldn't you be asleep?  
  
Snake: (hiccups, staggering about like fool) The kid ran in that direction! (points to a specific birch tree in the thick forestry)  
  
Rose: I'll find him wherever he's trying to hide! (rambles to herself) Can you believe it! Trying to hide from me! He'll have to do better than that! (goes over to the tree Snake directed her to) .....!  
  
Raiden: Aaaaaaaaaaah! (sees Rose)  
  
Rose: Aiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee! (sees Raiden)  
  
Snake: (smiles) And the crowd goes wild!  
  
  
  
(WHOA! That was just...very unexpected. The night passes into day, and finally all the cast drift off to sleep)  
  
Warning: Snake and Booze is a dangerous mix..^^ 


	6. A VERY short note, please read.

Who do you think will win? This chapter is absolutely pointless, except for the fact that I need you to choose WHO you want to be voted out. Fatman, Mei Ling, whatever. I'll try consider it, okay, and I'll start writing those chapters!  
  
Thanks for your support,  
  
Chibichan...call me Raiden otaku. 


	7. Uh-Ooooooooh...Spaghettiooooooo!

(In the morning)  
  
Jeff: How was your first night?  
  
Raiden: It was horrible. Lack of privacy. -.-  
  
Vamp: Empty.  
  
Fatman: Hungry.  
  
Rose: I'm sorry Jack...I didn't know you were...  
  
Ocelot: (rubs his hands in delight, unable to conceal his excitement) Got some snapshots of the boy when he was relieving himself last night. (pauses) Darn, I've said too much!!  
  
Raiden: (big exclamation mark floats above his head, and his face reddens) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, you perverted old man! Don't you have a life?!?!  
  
Ocelot: (sighs) Nude collages?...I stare at them...is that considered a life?  
  
Raiden: ............  
  
Snake: What did it look like?  
  
Ocelot: What do you mean by "it"? ....Oh yes.....(pulls them out of his pocket and shows Snake the pictures) These will get me $40 off EBAY!  
  
Snake: O_O" Holy sh*t, check this out! That's one hellluva...  
  
(Everyone except gathers around Snake, gawking at the photos)  
  
Solidus: .....My, how Jack has grown...  
  
Otacon: ...This reminds me of the shots Snake loved to send me...  
  
Snake: (growls threateningly) Lay off, nerd!  
  
Vamp: Can I keep this one? (a slow smile forms on his lips)  
  
Ocelot: $ 60.  
  
Vamp: I'll throw in an extra $5 for the amazing camera handling...  
  
Ocelot: Thank you...(stashes away the cash)  
  
Fatman: .........I'm hungry...  
  
All the girls: O_O (stare with the remaining piccys with rapt attention)  
  
Raiden: .........  
  
Jeff: Now that's just...odd.  
  
Snake: (grins) Then why are you looking at it?  
  
Jeff: I-I wasn't...  
  
Snake: You were, sweetpants!  
  
Jeff: Don't call me that. -.-  
  
Snake: You know you looooooooove it!  
  
Jeff: Stop doing that.  
  
Mei Ling: (whispers) He's got a hangover...  
  
Jeff: Uh-oh...  
  
(The camera man drops the camera to the ground to check out the snapshots of Raiden himself)  
  
Camera guy: Whoa... (brings them closer to his face for better observation)  
  
Jeff: May we carry on?  
  
Raiden: (quickly) Yes, please. (shoots an angry glance at Ocelot) I'm going to rip up those photos...  
  
Jeff: *Ahem* ....Yes, today's activity is...(looks about frantically) Seems like my script disappeared...  
  
(panics) WHERE THE HELL DID IT GO?!  
  
Some guy from backstage: Just take suggestions...time is MONEY!  
  
Jeff: You're right...(smooths his hair, taking in deep breaths) Any suggestions?  
  
Snake: Hula dancing!  
  
Solidus: (grins) See who can hold their breath the longest?  
  
Ocelot: (shouts) Torture!  
  
Emma: (pushes up her glasses) How about a reenactment of a Dragonball Z scene?  
  
Jeff: (forces a smile to please everyone) These are all very good ideas...  
  
Mei Ling: No they're not, they are horrible, horrible ideas!  
  
Jeff: (sighs, lowering his head) You're right...Just give me some time to think...  
  
(More is coming...What will the cast participate in? Keep checking...and I'm aware someone else is also doing SURVIVOR after reading mine. I have a disclaimer on mine, so (shrugs) "meh". Of course, extreme plagiarism will make me have to contact the Fanfiction peeps. Thanks for reading, sorry it takes so long...) 


	8. And in this corner, wearing the blue sne...

Ocelot: I got it! How about...we play a little game? (his eyes glow)  
  
Snake: (shouts) Quick, run away! He wants to take nude shots!  
  
(Everyone breaks away, even the Camera man, and Jeff too)  
  
Ocelot: (mutters) Darn. How did he know?!? He's not going to get away with it...(retrieves his revolver, and fires a shot)  
  
Snake: O_O" Arg, my A$$! (falls to the ground)  
  
Raiden: (stops running) Are you okay?  
  
Snake: Damn ba$+@rd shot me! Shot my left cheek!  
  
Raiden: Ugh, too much detail. (shudders) Well, I can help you up, but I'm not gonna....  
  
Snake: (interrupts him, his eyelids half closed) Uhhhhhhhhhh...just before I go, (he inhales deeply) I wanted to say...you're not so bad, kid...  
  
Raiden: (thinks he may have heard incorrectly---a non-insult from Snake?) Huh?  
  
Snake: (yells) I said MOVE YOUR ALBINO A$$ and HELP ME UP, SOFTY!!!  
  
Raiden: ...... (grabs hold of Snake's arm)  
  
Snake: Stop touching me!!!  
  
Raiden: Fine. (lets go of him)  
  
Snake: I said HELP ME UP, you little ^*%#&@^!!!!  
  
Raiden: Make UP YOUR MIND! (shouts)  
  
Snake: (is using a teasingly high-pitch voice) Oh, the school boy is hurting my feelings!  
  
Raiden: (His rage explodes to the top) Oh that's it, mister. THAT'S JUST...plain full of...(searches for the right word, and then resumes his threatening glare) CRAP!  
  
(A gasp issues from the crowd, and everyone stares at each other. Raiden said "Crap", and used it as an insult?...Major breakthrough in the Raiden book of Memories, and Raiden Hall of Fame. He must be serious then...  
  
Ocelot, Solidus, Emma, Vamp, Jeff, Otacon, Mei Ling, and Rose slowly form a circle around the two operatives, forgetting that it was Ocelot that they were afraid of)  
  
(Most of the gang chants "Go Jack go!", as the other bunch cheer on for Snake. Soon it turns into a gigantic gambling situation, where they bet money on the winner. I don't like where this is going...)  
  
Jeff: (waves his hands) Hey, cut that out! We're supposed to work together, and like a team...  
  
All: SHUT UP!!  
  
Jeff: (Folds his arms across his chest, muttering) Why do I even bother with these freaks?  
  
Mei Ling: Oh, we're just having some fun...^^ (You'd think she would be against it---but since it gives everyone something to do, they watch with interest.)  
  
Ocelot: (stands between both of the pissed off soldiers) Now now, you will have time to fight. You both must be stripped of your weaponry first. (grins)  
  
Fatman: I'm hungry...(whimpers)  
  
Raiden: NO way, old man! (backs away) I know what you're thinking of...  
  
Ocelot: Not even a little? (his face shows disappointment)  
  
Raiden: NO!! And why do all our competitions have to have nudity somehow tied into them?  
  
Solidus: I'm sorry Jackie boy, we'll have to deal with you as he suggested. (laughs maniacally)  
  
Raiden: ! (tries to scamper off, but bumps into Snake) Ow...  
  
Snake: (lights himself a cigg) I have something to show off! (points to his "chest hair toupee", and below that, his beer belly)...  
  
Raiden: (shivers slightly) I find that repulsive...-.-  
  
Snake: (scoffs) Where's your maturity, kid?  
  
Raiden: (makes a face) Beer is absolutely disgusting. So is smoking!! (insert a gasp from Snake here) (Jack says the next part slowly, partially nervous because everyone is listening)....I've got no chest hair.  
  
Snake: No chest hair? No chest hair? (slaps his forehead in disbelief) WHAT KINDA MAN AIN'T GOT NO CHEST HAIR? Oh I forgot, you aren't a man...(chuckles as Raiden growls) How old are you?! Don't tell me you were some kinda 13 year old lying about your age...  
  
Raiden: I was born in 1982....( a tear forms in his eye) Never had any one to love me, never had---  
  
Snake: Cut the crap, I just want to see you now so that I may laugh at you in the future. (draws a rail gun and aims at Raiden)  
  
Raiden:... (freezes, a look of awe flashing over his pale face) O_O You had a rail gun all this time?!?!  
  
Snake: (looks at Raiden with a look of slight surprise, as if what the younger one asked was stupid) Hell ya.  
  
Mei Ling: We all did. Didn't we? (looks around, the heads nodding in agreement)  
  
Raiden: (stares, confused) How come I didn't get one? Did you get one? (points to Rose)  
  
Snake: Stop wasting my time, fruit! (tosses away his massive firearm, and punches Raiden right in the face)  
  
Raiden: !!! (feels the blood dripping down his cheek) Fruit, huh? (delivers a swift kick into Snake where the "sun don't shine", and slams the other's head into the ground)  
  
Snake: O_O" ........ (sweat runs down his face, and he falls to his knees)  
  
Raiden: I may be younger, but I'm definitely not a fruit, or any weaker than you. (pants)  
  
(turns towards the crowd, dusting his hands) Now that that's settled...  
  
Snake: GAAAAAHH! (his eyes wide and bloodshot, the hairy lunatic lunges for Raiden's throat, and tackles into him)  
  
Raiden: (slams into the ground) *snap* That rib always breaks. -.-  
  
Rose: (buries her head in Emma's shoulder) I can't look...  
  
Snake: I'm not a violent man, kid...(grabs a thick tree branch, and whacks Raiden in the head, hard)  
  
Raiden: o_O (a loud crack is heard as the branch breaks, and a blank look slowly flashes on Raiden's eyes after being hit with such a force. He seems almost as though his mind is somewhere else)  
  
Otacon: Did you see that?! That was cruel enough to knock out a horse!  
  
Solidus: Ol' Jackie boy's got a thick skull, don't you worry. (muses)  
  
Snake: (licks his lips, and lifts up his fist, a crazed smirk on his face) You won't be a pretty boy any longer...  
  
Raiden: Um... (thinks quick) There's an alcoholic drink!! (points to the distance)  
  
Snake: (something from the very back of his mind sparks) Huh? Alco--holic? (The term makes his mouth water. It has only been a little while, but you know no beer and no TV makes Snake extremely edgy and irritable. You can hardly tell, though, for he is almost always moody, and grouchy. His head darts from side to side, and then he releases Raiden and pushes past the crowd)  
  
Raiden: (gets up slowly, brushing the dirt off his Skull Suit) ...Whoa. That was too close for comfort.  
  
(A large groan comes from the crowd)  
  
Mei Ling: (shrugs) No winner. All well.  
  
Rose: Are you all right? (runs up to her supposed "boyfriend", and hugs him)  
  
Raiden: Mmmmm...? (his mind is sluggish after the tremendous blow)  
  
Rose: Are you all right? (she repeats)  
  
Raiden: Okay?... (Thinks: Something was said!) (puts the words together in his dazed mind) Ah, yes...  
  
Rose: Why does it take you so long to answer?  
  
Raiden: ....................(a minute later) No reason, why?  
  
Rose: Oh, okay. (smiles) Let's head over to the tent, and grab some lunch?  
  
Raiden: (rubs his head) 'Kay.  
  
Rose: Jack and I are going back to the tent!  
  
Raiden: (Although unwilling to be around Rosemary, he trudges with her. His stomach has been neglected for a long time, and he wishes to eat something. ) (NOTE: The b**** is good for something! LOL ^^)  
  
Jeff: BUT---!  
  
Snake: (has finally discovered that no beer is around, but he is too lazy to chase Raiden, so he shrugs) I'm gonna go now. (scratches his butt, and then remembers he has been shot) Meh. I'm tired.  
  
Mei Ling: Me too.  
  
Jeff: BUT---! (waves his arms frantically to catch attention)  
  
Emma and Otacon: Bye! (flee the scene)  
  
Vamp: I will also...go...and....do something...(slinks away)  
  
(Fatman, Solidus and Ocelot are long gone)  
  
Jeff: (is left all alone) Aw great. Just great. (grinds his teeth and pulls out a megaphone) Meet me at the pit at 7:30 PM! You have 10 hours! (turns off the megaphone) God, what have I done to deserve this disobedient, obnoxious bunch...?! (crumples into a heap on the "sand", and begins to bawl) The producers are gonna have my legs broke!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Raiden: Ick, a mosquito...(It lands on his arm)  
  
Snake: Where? Wait, found it! Right THERE! (slaps Raiden's face)  
  
Raiden: Hey! (rubs his sore face ruefully) You missed it and hit me instead!  
  
Snake: (jumps back, fear on his face) There was a real mosquito?!) 


	9. Rose's Reign of Terror

(Everyone's back at their designated tents, enjoying themselves and trying to pass time)  
  
(Let's visit our favourite blond guy, and his hilarious, obnoxious follower!)  
  
Rose: (digs in her little pack from her back) Here Jack, you like bread?  
  
Raiden: Well, only if there's something on it.  
  
Rose: (in an agitated tone) Picky, aren't you?  
  
Raiden: N-no, I just...  
  
Rose: How do you expect to live in this place, if you're so PICKY?  
  
Raiden: (helplessly) I'm not—  
  
Rose: (persists) --And please, for once, think about me!!! You're so selfish, doing everything for your benefit!!  
  
Raiden: (Thinks: Wow, the word "benefit" is the first sophisticated word she's ever mentioned. ) Yeah, Rose, whatever you say.  
  
Rose: Eat up, Jackie Jack! I have oranges...apples...(pulls more from her pack)  
  
Raiden: (Thinks: Please don't call me that.) (You know, he won't hurt someone's feelings unless it's really bothering him.) ... (grabs an apple, and bites it hungrily, chewing slowly and with a closed mouth)  
  
Rose: (whines) I said THAT was mine!  
  
Raiden: No you didn't...(a thin trickle of some of the apple's juice runs down his mouth, and he wipes it away politely)  
  
Rose: (protests) I did!  
  
Raiden: Whatever...(tosses it to her)  
  
Rose: You bit in it!  
  
Raiden: (Thinks: Look who's picky...) Well, you never told me it was yours when I picked it up!  
  
Rose: You could have figured!  
  
Raiden: (grits his teeth, and closes his eyes, muttering to himself, and then sighs)  
  
Rose: I thought you were hungry!  
  
Raiden: (he speaks through his teeth, trying to keep his temper) I AM.  
  
Rose: Then why don't you eat, silly?  
  
Raiden: I was...  
  
Rose: (she seems confused) What? I can't hear you..  
  
Raiden: (clears his throat, and raises his voice slightly) I WAS!  
  
Rose: (covers her ears as though to protect them) You don't have to shout, I'm not deaf!  
  
Raiden: ... (feels like he's going to go insane)  
  
Rose: Oh Jack, listen to me! I have this funny story!  
  
Raiden: ........ (sweat runs down his face, and his eyes become bloodshot) (Thinks: I don't...CARE!)  
  
Rose: Jack? Listen...(pouts, pretending to cry) Jaaaaaaaaack...  
  
Raiden: ........... (closes his eyes, trying hard to ignore her) (sticks his fingers in his ears, whistling)  
  
Rose: (bounces around) Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack!!  
  
Raiden: (his eyebrow twitches, and he grinds his teeth. He screams loudly in her face) SHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Snake: (sticks his head in) Will you two SHUT UP!?!?! I'm trying to...(sees the food) GRUB! (shoves pieces desperately in his pockets)  
  
Raiden: (gets up angrily) That's our food!  
  
Snake: Correction...that WAS your food. (puffs out his chest proudly, after making a remark so "intelligent" on his standards) You see, when it comes to rationing, the trick, kid, is to take little bites. (begins to nibble tiny bits, and then ravenously gorges down the food)  
  
Raiden: ACK! Not the food?!? (pulls Snake back by the arms) Fight it, Snake!!  
  
Snake: (snivels) Fatman took it all...ALL!!!  
  
Rose: (is hard of hearing) Batman?  
  
Raiden: He said "Fatman". -.-  
  
Rose: (Snake struggles to reach a tantalizing dessert) I'll put this bit of cake where it won't tempt him!  
  
Snake: (leans foreword and grabs the slice in his mouth) Temptation's gone. (burps rudely)  
  
Raiden: -.-  
  
Rose: Oh my... O_O"  
  
Snake: (suddenly looks clearly sick) Kid, make way...  
  
Raiden: ?  
  
Snake: (breaks through Raiden's grip, and throws up just outside their tent) ......O.o  
  
Raiden: SNAKE?!?!  
  
Snake: (sees the mess he's made, and he slowly walks off innocently)  
  
Rose: Well wasn't that nice...(has her hands on her hips)  
  
Raiden: (lies down) Man, I'm so hungry...  
  
Rose: I have nothing left. (shrugs)  
  
Raiden: -.- Nothing's gone right with you. Why couldn't you have just left the island?  
  
Rose: (is filing her nails, not really listening) You said something?  
  
Raiden: Nope. Nothing as usual. Just a quiet little blond boy that has everything bad happen to him.  
  
Rose: (glances at him) Which blond boy?  
  
Raiden: (rolls his eyes at her stupidity) ...  
  
Rose: (looks at Raiden as though he's the one being rude) You're distant today...  
  
Raiden: (mumbles) How would YOU tell, or why would YOU care? -.-  
  
Rose: But you're soooooooooo romantic...(she blinks a few times, flashing a smile that scares him. A smile too sweet for his liking.)  
  
Raiden: (Thinks: That was freaky...) (backs up)  
  
Rose: C'mon....  
  
Raiden: C'mon what?  
  
Rose: Don't be silly...  
  
Raiden: What do you want me to do?  
  
Rose: You know...  
  
Raiden: I don't.  
  
Rose: Really?  
  
Raiden: Seriously.  
  
Rose: (puckers up) ...! (  
  
Raiden: STAY AWAY! (makes the sign of the cross)  
  
Rose: (a devilish grin widens on her face) You like it don't you?  
  
Raiden: What?  
  
Rose: This! (kisses him on the lips)  
  
Raiden: Mmmmmffffff... (after 30 seconds pass, he stares at his watch, his eyes growing wider, as she continues to kiss. He waves his arms to feebly draw attention to other tribe members possible outside, and hopefully end the torture) (Thinks: Caught off-guard! Under attack! Must...break free...) (in a final attempt, he pushes her face away, and quickly dashes out the tent)  
  
Rose: Jack! Come back!! (is smiling) I think he liked it...  
  
(Emma and Otacon are building a Gundam Model, as Raiden suddenly rips open the cover, panting hard, looking very afraid)  
  
Raiden: Long story...please...let me in....for the love of god, let me IN!!!!  
  
  
  
(Much more stuff to come! Stick along, 'cuz this thing isn't going to end soon! ^^) 


	10. VOTING!

(With all the hilarity occurring, no one is really aware of the time. It quickly becomes 7: 30 PM) (The stars are out, and the sky is dark. Nothing but the sounds of night, and Snake's flatulence (:P) can be heard.)  
  
(Grumbling and shoving, the gang trudge to the firepit, where Jeff is waiting. He ignites the tall torches, and sits down on the wooden log "bench".)  
  
Jeff: Welcome back. (he whispers)  
  
Raiden: (takes a seat farther away from Rose, rocking himself slowly) ...Can't rest, Rose will kiss me...Can't rest, Rose will kiss me...  
  
Fatman: (settles himself in the centre of the log, taking up all the space) Aaaaaaaaaaaah!  
  
Vamp: (quickly fills the gap between Raiden and Rose, licking his lips) (makes eyes at Jeff)  
  
Snake: (finds rest against a palm tree, and ushers the others with a gesture of his hand) Hurry up! Move your scrawny arses!  
  
(Otacon, Emma, Mei Ling, Solidus and Ocelot quickly take their seats)  
  
Jeff: (glances at everyone) You all know why you're here...  
  
Snake: (raises his hand) I don't.  
  
Jeff: (rubs his temples agitatedly) There are 9 of you, because Rose has been eliminated yesterday. One of you, tonight, will have to leave.  
  
Snake: (butts in) How about two?  
  
Jeff: Will you stop interrupting me? (shoots a glare at him)  
  
Snake: No.  
  
Jeff: Anyway...(clears his throat purposely) I---  
  
Snake: (interrupts him again, making fart noises with his hand in his armpit, a self-satisfied grin on his face)  
  
Jeff: (gets red in the face, and his left eye twitches) Instead of arguing...Fine then. You think being a host is easy?! I want you to take over! GO!!!!  
  
Snake: Why not? (smirks and stands up)  
  
Jeff: I didn't expect you to be that enthusiastic. -.- (pushes Snake away)  
  
Snake: I was only doing your DAMN job correctly! (lights another cigarette, his 30th since he's gotten on the island)  
  
Jeff: Before I was so rudely interrupted---(insert frown directed towards Snake)----Here are the cards and pens. You will write the name of the competitor you wish to eliminate, and then put it in this hat.  
  
Snake: (hollers) Let's make it TWO people we want to eliminate.  
  
Jeff: (runs a hand through his messed hair) Okay, who's the leader here?! Huh?!!  
  
Snake: Obviously not YOU. (chuckles, contented with himself)  
  
Jeff: (begins to cry, surprisingly) Please co-operate with me! I can lose my job...If I lose it, I'll have to make a life selling photos!  
  
(Everyone's gaze directs to Ocelot)  
  
Ocelot: (looks at all of them) What?  
  
Emma: (rubs Jeff's back comfortingly) Snake, look what you've done!  
  
Snake: (whips his head around at the sound of her meek voice) Aw shove it, nerd! You've done nothing but read your crap all day!  
  
Emma: Anime is not crap! There are things you'd like, like Slayers, Echo, Ghost in the Shell---  
  
Snake: Shut your arse, or I'll burn those "precious" hentai books of yours!  
  
Emma: (pushes up her glasses) I don't read hentai!  
  
Ocelot: (he looks around in interest) What about hentai?  
  
Raiden: You're cold, Snake. How about you just chill out?  
  
Snake: Oh great. (chuckles) Here comes the albino boy to the rescue...  
  
Raiden: Grrrrrrrrr...  
  
Vamp: Oh behave, you two!  
  
Solidus: (shifts away from Vamp) Speak for yourself!  
  
Mei Ling: (rises) Please stop the argument! As a famous Chinese philosopher said.------  
  
Snake: (clears his throat) Hey, I don't remember the "goodie-two-shoes" being involved in this...DON'T BUTT INTO THINGS THAT DON'T CONCERN YOU! Go read your Shakespeare proverbs.  
  
Mei Ling: (is offended) Snake!?  
  
Snake: (folds his arms across his chest) Don't "Snake" me.  
  
Raiden: (anger is on his face) Why are you so rude to other people?  
  
Snake: (muses) Now that's a dense question, kid. I suppose a stupid person thinks of stupid questions, huh? I'M RUDE BECAUSE I AM!  
  
(They all continue to bicker and rant in a massive quarrel, as Jeff really tries to get their attention)  
  
Jeff: (throws water onto them, sets off a firecracker, to cause them to stop) Guys...Guys!!!...GUYS!!!!!! (pokes them all with cattleprods)  
  
All: (everyone stops in mid-action as they are shocked)  
  
Raiden: (exhales smoke) Ow. -.-  
  
Jeff: You have to vote, remember? (stares at all of them) Oh yes, and Rose, you can't vote because----  
  
Rose: ------Because I'm a woman?! (whimpers)  
  
Jeff: No....But---  
  
Rose: ---Because I'm too young, or I'm not registered?!?!?!  
  
Jeff: Don't jump to conclusions. -.- You can't vote because you've already been eliminated.  
  
Rose: (it takes her a few long seconds to understand what was said) Ooooooooooooooh, I see. (comprehends, and her retarded smile returns on her face)  
  
Snake: You're forgetting something Jeff...(nudges him hard, causing him to topple from his seat)  
  
Jeff: (Doesn't want to run the risk to have another argument, or be fired from his occupation, so he takes Snake's suggestion) Each of you...write TWO people's names on the card.  
  
Snake: (nods) It's not like anyone gives a crap about the rules anymore...we've practically made our own...  
  
Jeff: (mutters) That's because you monkeys arses can't follow rules... (coughs) Begin to write.  
  
(Everyone ponders a while, and scribbles the names on their cards. Once again, Snake breaks the silence.)  
  
Snake: (waves his hand to catch attention) How do you spell "kid"?  
  
Raiden: (sighs) I know you hate me, but---At least you can refer to me by my designated codename? You've known me for a while...(looks to the side) At least I took the valuable time out of my life to remember your name...  
  
Snake: What hell that while has been...(smacks Raiden upside the head out of desire)  
  
Raiden: ?? What was that for?  
  
Snake: (has an expression of astonishment, and then a mischievous grin forms) You slap good.  
  
Raiden: Pardon me?  
  
Snake: Hold on...let me try it again. (slaps Raiden across his face)  
  
Raiden: HEY!  
  
Snake: You're face is so smooth...(scratches at his grizzled stubs of uneven facial hair)  
  
Raiden: Ah! That's because I use...(lifts up a finger in realization) Oh yeah, no time for advertisements. My name's spelled "R-A-I-D-E-N".  
  
Snake: I knew that! (writes the name, and then turns the card so that it faces Raiden)  
  
Raiden: You've spelled S-N-A-K-E. -.-  
  
Snake: I knew that! (flips the card over, and once again scribbles the name in his illegible writing)  
  
Raiden: How do you write "R"?  
  
Raiden: If it's capital, it's like a "P"...(draws it out) except with a little leg coming out of the loop. Like this. (notices how Snake is staring with both confusion, and rapt attention) By the way, (Glances at Snake) Have you gone to school---do you know your ABC's?  
  
Snake: (a brief fear shows in his eyes, the redness of embarrassment showing on his face, but he quickly hides it) None of your business. -.-  
  
Raiden: (smiles to himself) Ah-ha! (Snickers)  
  
Snake: You tell anyone, and I'm gonna rip your throat out, tear your ribs from your chest, and hang your head in my living room. Mark my words, moron. (gives Jack a threatening glare, and goes back to his writing, chewing on a dead rat he picked up)  
  
Jeff: (stares at the rat Snake's eating) O_O That rat has diseases!!! You don't have to eat those in Survivor! We have food!  
  
Snake: (chews) I know we have food, but...these ain't so bad...  
  
Jeff: O_O"  
  
Raiden: (suppresses laughter at Snake's inability to spell, and he waits for him to finish, so he may check)  
  
Snake: Done! (proudly shows it to Raiden, as a child displays a piece of school work which had got a perfect mark)  
  
Raiden: (slaps his forehead) You wrote your own name again!!  
  
Snake: o_O........Oh.  
  
Fatman: (Can't help but overhear the conversation) Snake can't read??  
  
All: O_O (silence fills the air—so only the sounds of night, and everyone's breathing is audible)  
  
Snake: (stands up, and shouts, pointing at the tub of lard) Oh that's it fatboy, I'm gonna vote you out too!!! Erm...(takes his seat, whispering to the blond)  
  
Hey kid, howya spell "Fatman"?  
  
(Soon, all are finished deciding, and one-by-one, they reveal their choices)  
  
Mei Ling: Fatman and Emma. (nods)  
  
Emma: Snake and Ocelot.  
  
Raiden: Ocelot and Fatman. He complains too much anyway.  
  
Otacon: Ocelot and Vamp.  
  
Vamp: (he spits the names like a snake) SSSnake, and Fatman.  
  
Fatman: Emma, and Raiden. ---I want foooooooooood!  
  
Solidus: (smirks) Snake, and Fatman.  
  
Ocelot: (chuckles hoarsely with Solidus) Fatman, and Emma.  
  
Snake: Fatman, and Raiden.  
  
Jeff: That means...(strains his eyes to see the cue-cards) Fatman, and Emma....you...are...out...of...the...g-g..  
  
Raiden: That card says "game."  
  
Jeff: (squints) I really should get glasses...  
  
Raiden: Oh yeah. (nods)  
  
Fatman: (gets up, his blubber flowing like a lava lamp) FINE! (points to everyone) You weren't no fun anyway...I'm taking the Kasatka to Manhattan.  
  
Snake: (mutters). If it can carry you, fatty. (smirks) See if we care...  
  
Raiden: He was a waste of oxygen.  
  
Snake: (throws a stick at Jack) So are you, kid, you little---  
  
Mei Ling: (stands between the two) No more fighting!!  
  
Snake: (scoffs) Yes Mother dear.  
  
Raiden: (shakes his head, thoroughly pissed with Snake's attitude)  
  
Emma: So, I guess I'll go...(wipes her eyes, and snivels, as she is hugged by Hal) I'll miss you Hal, I'll miss you...(sniffs)  
  
Snake: (sticks out his tongue, looking disgusted) Yadayadayada, skip the mushy soap opera, lovebirds.  
  
Raiden: See you later, Emma...(waves solemnly, and just as she boards the already full Kasatka, he remembers something important) Hey wait...you don't have to leave the island—you can do what Rose (unfortunately) chose to do!  
  
Emma: I can stay?  
  
Snake: N---  
  
Raiden: Yeah, sure!  
  
Emma: Oh, I forgot about that! Thanks Raiden! (hugs Raiden, her very sudden action surprising him and causing him to redden considerably. Rose scowls at this, and snarls at Emma)  
  
Otacon: (pushes up his glasses, blinking) Thanks Raiden.  
  
Raiden: Just trying to make the world a little happier...I guess.  
  
Snake: (rolls his eyes) And you're failing... (raises his voice) 'Night guys, see you in the mornin'.  
  
Jeff: (extinguishes the posts with a coconut, and slips into his cabin) Good night.  
  
Rose: (hops excitedly, grasping Jack's hand to the point where it has surpassed the painful stage and has gone numb) Let's go, Jackie bunny, and have fun!  
  
Raiden: F-fun? (he is afraid at the thought, and before he knows it, he's unwillingly dragged away)  
  
(And thus a day of arguing has come to a close. Only 7 people remain in the game. Who will be voted out next? What relay must they compete in? Stay in touch...) 


End file.
